Tell Me You Love Me: Episode 09

Yolk sac and heartbeat on an ultrasound. Palek is squinting at the screen and comments it has a long way to go. The tech says time will go by pretty quickly. She asks if they want a picture to show off. Palek says no but Carolyn says yes at the same time so he caves. Next u/s is in 6 weeks. He tells Carolyn it is unbelievable that the picture will be them one day. Carolyn says no one expects him to fall in love with a grain of rice and to just give it time. He kind of mocks her but she tells him she'll get them through this. They kiss.

I have heard on more than one occasion that the father doesn't usually bond right away and sometimes it can take a while for him to feel that connection. However, it really worried me that he didn't have ONE positive thing to say during the ultrasound. He didn't even want a picture. Did anyone else find this a bit odd? I think Carolyn showed tremendous patience with him, although referring to the baby as a "grain of rice" probably didn't facilitate the growth of a relationship.

Carolyn and Palek are in a parked car and he is distracted. He confesses he's not ready to tell his mom and it is too early. Carolyn says she should know and he asks when she started to give a shit about his mom. She said since she became the baby's grandmother. Carolyn said if she had a mom she'd tell her even if she hated her. Palek says not to pull the dead mother card and that it isn't fair. She says they should just tell her in the middle of one of her stories so she'll barely notice. He says he doesn't want the drama and the hugging and kissing. But he concedes and they go inside.

Would you want to tell your parents right away? My mom was the first person, aside from DH, we told about the pregnancies. Of course, we are very close and she knows about our fertility treatments so I have to share everything with her. If we weren't as close, I may not be so open. Our families have been very supportive about our TTC efforts so even if things don't work out in the future, we feel okay having them behind us, praying for us and sending us good vibes.

His mom is going through some boring story when Palek breaks the news. She congratulates them and hugs and kisses them. Palek gets up and leaves, complaining of the temp of the room. Carolyn tells her MIL that Palek isn't happy and doesn't want this baby and she doesn't know what to do. His mother is surprised but tells her he will come around and that this is wonderful news.

I was glad that the mother was supportive about the news. However, I thought she should have been more attentive to Carolyn's dilemma. Did you think that she should have spoken to Palek later on - and by herself - about the pregnancy? Or did she do the right thing by stepping aside and taking a passive role? Perhaps some motherly advice would help Palek to vent and maybe she could help to guide him. Then again, it seems like he is hell bent on being miserable. so maybe nothing could help.

Carolyn's boss says the client is upset at the team and she can't blame them. They dropped the ball on this case - big time. She wants Carolyn to go over a ton of contracts before tomorrow morning with a fine tooth comb and report to a coworker. Carolyn tells her she needs more than 24 hours but her boss won't budge. Carolyn tells her to find someone else and gets up and leaves. She calls Palek at work and tells him she thinks she just quit her job. She says she doesn't want to work once the baby is born anyway and they are doing okay financially. She thinks she is done. She says she doesn't think she can go back in. Palek says he has to go and they'll talk when he gets home.

I have to take Palek's side on this. I think Carolyn should have consulted him first before she made the decision to quit. She made a major life-changing decision without him and this type of independence drove them even further apart. And though her boss has been out of line in the past, she was asking Carolyn to do her job. I didn't think it warranted her to walk out on the spot. Do you think Carolyn was right by when and how she quit her job?

Palek meets with his friend Shawn - the guy who bought their house - who met with the inspector. He had a second inspection of the house and finds there is mold everywhere. Palek said that can't be. Shawn said he'll still buy it but cleanup will cost at least $50k so he leaves it up to Palek. Palek is understandably pissed. Shawn asks if he is okay and Palek asks if that is a trick question. He steps outside and starts sweating and hyperventilating and he has to sit on the curb.

Turns out he had a panic attack. He tells Carolyn he thought he was dying. He had never been in the ER before. She said she can't believe she quit her job. He said it is ALWAYS about her. She tells him to grow up and that he's going to be a father. He says that is not reducing his stress level. She apologizes and says she was scared. He says he doesn't know what the f**k is going on.

Having suffered from panic disorder, I know firsthand how much panic attacks suck. You really do feel like you are dying. However, my attacks usually seem to come out of nowhere - when I'm not really under stress. I think Palek really does need to find a way to reduce his stress level or he will continue to have attacks. Do you have or have you ever had panic attacks? If so, what helped you to recover? For me, I had to learn breathing techniques to stop the hyperventilating. Also, watching something boring on TV would help me to occupy my mind but wouldn't excite me and make the anxiety worse.

Carolyn and Palek tell the therapist about the panic attack. She says it is the "body's alarm system going off" and it is a warning. Carolyn says she quit her job the day he had a panic attack. She says she needed him and he disappeared before her eyes. Palek says she quit without telling him. She says she can't depend on him - the first time in her life she depends on him. He says she knows how he feels about this. The therapist asks her how he feels. She says he is scared and she wants to get them back. She says she thinks she was too focused on TTC but she is here now and wants to work it out. Palek says she lost faith that they could get pregnant. He lost faith that they should. He wants to be a good husband but he says he doesn't think he can be a good husband and a good father. He doesn't have it in him. Carolyn asks what he needs from her. He says he thinks it is too late. He says he wants to split up. She asks why and he says he isn't happy. He says he hasn't been for a long time. Carolyn bawls.

Wow. I just don't even know what to say after this. I really felt for Carolyn - pregnant, jobless and now losing her husband. I feel like she is really trying to listen and make things work (although she is making mistakes along the way too) but she is fighting a losing battle because Palek has already given up. If he is unhappy, it is good he is getting out but at the same time, I just feel like he brought this on himself. If he couldn't be a husband and a father, he should have had a vasectomy or something. I don't know. I just think he is wimping out of the responsibility. What were your thoughts about this scene?

Next week is the season finale. How do you think it will wrap up?