Sunday, October 07, 2007

Apologies...and Moving On

Thank you all for your support after my last post. It was very painful yet reassuring to write in response to that comment but I hope that I represented myself and others in an articulate, thoughtful way. I also hope that Thou Who Shall Remain Nameless will take this information, learn from it, and pass on kindness to the next person in need instead of making that person feel guilty. Guilt is a useless emotion and is only used to manipulate others to do what you feel is right. None of us should judge each other, but try to learn from one another. I know I am far from perfect but I try to respect other people's beliefs, even if they are different from my own. The saying goes that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Who am I to judge another person for their imperfections when I am obviously imperfect myself? I really try to live my life by treating people how I would like to be treated. That's not to say that I don't fail to stay true to that at times. But I really strive to pay it forward so to speak - to pass on the love and support I receive.

I do want to apologize in case I offended anyone who is not a Christian or a believer in God. It has not been brought to my attention that I have but I did not want to alienate anyone who is different from myself. As I said, I respect everyone's beliefs with regards to religion, politics, etc. I do not expect people to wholeheartedly agree with everything I say on my blog or IRL. I just felt I should speak up for myself and anyone else who has been told that infertility is their punishment for actions or mistakes they have made in the past or present. I am a Christian and therefore, my response was built upon those beliefs and values. However, my argument could be modified to reflect anyone's personal preferences.

In the words of Forrest Gump, that's all I have to say 'bout that.

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I am on Day 2 of Clomid cycle #3. Usually, Day 3 is where the hot flashes start hitting so I am trying to prepare myself. They have always been manageable but I'm waiting for something unbearable to happen. I hear so many women talk about the monsters they become from these little pills and I feel like I'm the freak who actually feels normal. I keep thinking it's going to burst out of me at any moment and I'll turn into Medusa.

But so far so good. BD marathon set to begin on Thursday. Stocked up on the digital OPKs (since I can never interpret the lines on the dip sticks) and the PreSeed. We're just in waiting mode until we can be open for business. Boy, that sounds bad. Can we possibly get any more mechanical?

I can't believe we're back here again. But I'm giving it my best shot.

17 comments:

jess said...

I just bought the PreSeed and actually tried it last night. I have a quick question, when exactly is the best days to use the PreSeed? Good luck :) :)

Grad3 said...

Gl, GL, GL!!!!

In the good ol days, before I knew I pcos, I would use the CBE digital smiley faces- so much easier to read!

Natalie said...

You surely did not offend me. :)

Natalie said...

Oh, and? I never had much to say about my clomid cycles. I always felt perfectly normal.

Sherry said...

K

Just stopped by to say - YOU ROCK!!

I'll be keeping good thoughts for you and dh for this cycle...

r_is_moody said...

Hoping this cycle is lucky for you.

Ps. I didn't have many side effects on clomid either. Only hot flashes.

OrchidLover said...

Good luck with the Clomid! And, this whole infertility/miscarriage mess thing can certainly make one (or at least me) question one's relationship with God, or the universe. It's the epitome of an existential mess to want a child and not be able to make one.

s day said...

YOUR'E AWESOME!!!
have fun with the BD!!!!!

Courtney said...

I am just now catching up on your posts and I am sorry that you had to deal with someone who felt the need to be so insensitive.

Good luck with the Clomid and on this cycle!

Ms. Infertile said...

I was not offended at all but rather thought your post was a great response to an insensitive remark.

Good luck with this cycle - sometimes it is so hard to believe we are back to a certain step again, almost like we're moving in circles. But I believe that if we keep moving we'll eventually make it to our goal somehow.

And, normally I only get the clomid hot flashes too, but once or twice have had it change my personality (or so dh says)

LeRoy Dissing said...

I was going to comment on your last post but held off since you got so many and it would just be redundant. The whole punishment idea or "blame game" reminds me of the Biblical story where I believe the Pharasees brought a blind man to Jesus and asked Him who sinned, this man or his parents since the man had been born blind. The response was neither and then He healed him.

I am not up to speed on some of the acronymns of infertility. If you could enlighten me as to what "BD" stands for, I'd appreciate it. I could probably guess and likely be wrong - lol.

Tash said...

I f'n hate clomid. I was always a raging mess, but it could be that I had to follow it with loads of progesterone which made me feel like I had eaten a pillow. Treat yourself nicely on that stuff. And yeesh, sorry I missed the brouhaha over the past few! I'll respond as an atheist who leans Buddhist that you certainly did not offend me, and I'm sorry you were put in the position of having to defend something so personal to you on your IF blog for Pete's sake. Hang in there!

JJ said...

Have you all had "luck" with pre.seed? I bought it before we found out for sure what the issue was, and have thought about using it again since we do have to deal with MFI--and now I have a fancy clear-blue-monitor=)
So I just want to quadruple check that pre.seed does NOT harm the swimmers? Cause we cant afford to lose more=(
BEST OF LUCK this cycle!

Meghan said...

Not offend at all. I thought that was a very thoughtful and sensitive response to an insensitive and not thoughtful comment

Good luck on the Clomid, I'll be starting it soon so I'll be following your side effects

Foreverhopeful said...

I guess I missed all the drama. I'm so sorry about the insensitive comment by the anonymous blogger. I think you do a good job of defending yourself and many of us. I love your bravery and honesty and didn't find it offensive at all. I think when people claim to know God's plan has always bothered me the most. I'm glad you made a stand. Good luck with this cycle.

M said...

Good luck hun...I can only hope the best for you.

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