Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Eureka?!

I called the RE's office this afternoon to see if my bloodwork results were back. One of the coagulant tests came back abnormal. I have to go retest tomorrow and I am forbidden to take aspirin beforehand. I guess it can interfere with the test. But...I didn't take aspirin before the first test...hmmmmmmmm...



Do we have a eureka on our hands?


Part of me is giddy with excitement. Is APS the reason behind our losses and our difficulty conceiving? The prospect of having an answer makes me strangely happy. The other part of me is scared to death at the idea of having a high-risk pregnancy. APS can cause blood clots, preeclampsia, low birth weight, retarded placental development among many other complications. It's not like being diagnosed with this disorder will be the end of my fears. I will still worry that I could lose my baby or that I may never be a mother. But at least I'd have a treatment plan - including a cocktail of low molecular weight heparin and baby aspirin - in my arsenal. Right now, I don't have anything pointing to a problem and therefore, nothing to stop this from happening again.

The retest could come back okay and I'll remain unexplained. But at least there is hope that I may have uncovered a reason behind it all. I'm probably the only crazy woman on the planet actually wishing for something to be wrong with her.


P.S. Thank you all so very much for your kind comments yesterday. I sincerely appreciate every word. Today, I have the Nina Simone song playing in my head. It's a new dawn. It's a new day. It's a new life for me. And I'm feelin' good.

29 comments:

Natalie said...

Oh my goodness. That's exciting... and terrifying at the same time.

Jen said...

I'm so excited for you! Yes, it sucks to have anything wrong. But having a reason for the losses and a plan for the future is fabulous!

ilissa said...

wow. while i hate to think you have this condition, it IS emotionally wonderful to have a (possible) answer AND solution. i hope you have found your smoking gun. i really do. xoxox

Chris said...

I know how much you want a specific condition to blame (I do too!), however, I'm hoping this isn't it because of it's long term repercussions. I hope you get some peace of mind soon.

Jen said...

I hpe you find your answer soon! Thinking of you!

Polka Dot said...

I found you through Lost and Found : )

It is exciting to have some sort of answer. I was diagnosed with a mutant MTHFR gene that causes bloodclots - it's this long enzyme explanation - along with some other issues. To me, knowing that was probably the cause of our loss this past March is invaluable.

Because it can be dealt with. Just like APS. So I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that yours is a situation that can be medically handled and you'll be sticking a bean in no time.

Gemini Girl said...

Sometimes knowing is a great relief. When I found out after a year of trying that my chances of getting pregnant naturally were slim to none, it made me strangely happy as well. That meant that I had a plan; a course of action. I could finally start fertility treatments and let go of the hope that "maybe" it would just happen. I hope all is well with you and that there is a solution to this. I am keeping you in my prayers.

lub said...

That is exciting and I know exactly how you feel. I am so far unexplained and would love to be heading in the right direction towards having a baby. Right now I feel like a total crap shoot!

Reproductive Jeans said...

I LOVE that Nina Si.mone song...

It helps me feel at ease when there is some sort of "answer" I hope this explains all you need to know!

The Oneliner (Christina) said...

That is a weird deal...when i found out i had MTHFR i thought YES! and then OHNO!
But, lots of people who get clots have wonderfully healthy pregnancies and babies...so there's nothing to say that you won't.
; )

Carrie said...

Isn't it a funny world where we *want* something to be wrong? I understand, I'd love a diagnosis as then we'd have something to treat.
Hope this gives you some answers.

The Barreness said...

wow, I totally know how you feel about -wanting- something to be wrong. I remember how depressed I was for 2 weeks after my lap. I thought for sure I had endo, and when nothing was found, I wanted to scream "keep looking till you find something wrong, I want answers!".. but I didn't. and there are still no answers for me.

thanks for your comment of support over at my blog, I had no idea I had a following! We IF'ers need to stick together!

-megan

Road Blocks and Rollercoasters said...

I hope you get your answer! Knowing is like a double edge sword, but sometimes it can make it easier just knowing what you're up against and having a plan to overcome it. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you! :)

dmarie said...

I can totally understand your excitement. I hope you get answers!

I've been listening to that song since Saturday :)

Grad3 said...

Being glad that you found something wrong? Not strange at all!

I just hope this brings you what you have been working so hard for. Hope that second re-test comes back abnormal but is still easily fixed.

Mrs. B said...

Although the cause of IF may be worrisome it must be nice to finally know for sure what is causing it. Good luck and let us know what the second test says!

LeRoy Dissing said...

Hey Kristen ~

I am glad you just have to take a "low molecular weight heparin" and not have to have abdominal shots to thin your blood. I had not heard of APS before but at least it is treatable if you have it.

You are not crazy for wishing you could find what is causing all of this. On the contrary, I think your reaction is quite normal given what you are experiencing.

Keep us posted on the retest. Sending you good vibes from Wisconsin!

LeRoy Dissing said...

Make that a "cocktail of low molecular weight heparin"...I didn't know you could take it orally.

Kristen said...

Lee ~ I don't think I can take that kind of heparin orally. I believe it is a subcutaneous shot that I'd have to take in the belly - like insulin. Sorry if the use of "cocktail" was confusing. I was more referring to the mix of drugs I would need. But, hey, it would be for a good cause so I'm not complaining too much!

Katie said...

You are not crazy! I wanted something to be wrong each and every time a test was done. I even wanted them to say, "It's over, you can't have babies." It would have be awful, but at least it takes the guesswork out of our hands. Right now, our RE keeps saying, "Keep trying, eventually one will stick." That's not much of a treatment plan. I can't wait to hear your results!

Heather said...

I'm hoping this is what it is for you as well. I think that's what the hardest part is that we want to know what we can do to fix the problem. Lots of luck!

Foreverhopeful said...

I first wanted to thank you for support and encouragement recently.. :)

I was diagnosed as unexplained infertility for years and the Dr/RE kept saying its a matter of time. So everytime I got a BFN, it left me so-- frustrated. After many failed IVF's, I finally was told I may have an egg issue and even though it was hard, having an answer to all my BFN's and all my years of IF... helped me to move on from my grief. Answers helps us decide what our next step is? Not knowing is harder sometimes. Its not easy either way but I'm glad you are getting some answers. Hang in there.

SaraS-P said...

Wow, I really hope this is the smoking gun that leads to the right course of action for you.

LeRoy Dissing said...

Thanks for the clarification Kristen. I know something of what is in store then IF you have to take the shots abdominally. Let me know what you think after you get them.

Elin said...

Oh My! I hope you do get an answer hunny. I just read that and 3 years ago my partner went to the doctors and they told her she had 'sticky blood' and didnt do anything about it. We are wondering now if that could be the cause of her miscarriages (we just lost another angel) We will be making an appointment with the doc .... Hope you are ok, with love x

Geohde said...

I hope that you get an answer. One way or the other.

Artblog said...

gawd what history! i suppose knowing helps but doesn't take the pain away. Lots of luck...

Kym said...

I'm glad to hear that there might be an answer. So many mixed feels I bet. Glad to have a reason, but scared because there is a reason. If only things were easy, but we do what we can. Let me know what heparin they put you on. I'm on Lovenox (sub q) I like it, I don't have a dx though...which drives me crazy. But we do what we can and hope for the very best! Good luck to you girl!

Love,
Kym

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