Thursday, July 19, 2007

Not Exactly Water Cooler Conversation

Things have been quite busy at work over the past week. I have been knee deep in buying media from around the U.S. I have been finding that it keeps me occupied and the day seems to go by faster. I like when I have things to distract me from last week’s catastrophe. Because when I get home, I am constantly reminded of our little lost snowflake. Even looking at a box of Fruity Pebbles will get my eyes stinging, since that was my daily breakfast back then.

Anyway, around lunchtime yesterday, my boss mentor* came into my office, which I share with another wonderful lady. The three of us got to talking and it just magically spiraled into a conversation about IF. It went something like this, although keep in mind that it is significantly paraphrased:

MS. MENTOR: My vacation just got cancelled. My sister is having marital troubles. I wish she’d get away from this loser. She is so young to stay trapped when she’s unhappy.

ME: I’m so glad I’m in a stable marriage. It amazes me how other people live these secret lives.

MS. MENTOR: Then, they have children and it makes things so much more complicated.

ME: I know. They are the ones who get pregnant easily and then happily married people like Rob and myself have trouble.

MS. MENTOR: I’m so sorry to hear that. You know, my husband and I had trouble conceiving our second. We had to spend about $5,000 to make that happen. Not to mention, we had an ectopic pregnancy thrown in for extra fun.

ME: Oh, no! I’m so sorry. I have to admit I’ve been through two losses myself.

MS. MENTOR: That is just terrible. Have you seen an RE?

ME: Yes, we’ve had some testing done. Nothing has been determined as of yet.

MS. MENTOR: Can I talk to you for a minute in private?

ME: Sure…

[walks into office and holds breath – unsure of what is to come next]

MS. MENTOR: I just want you to know that I understand your pain. If you need to ever take time off for appointments – come in late or leave early – just let me know. We can work something out.

ME: Wow, thank you so very much. I don’t know what to say.

MS. MENTOR: Your health and happiness is number one. And I don’t ever want you to think your job would ever be in jeopardy because of this.

ME: Well, since I just started here in April, I didn’t want to come off as a slacker.

MS. MENTOR: No, I know you are dedicated to this job. You are doing a terrific job and I don’t want to add anymore stress onto you. I can only imagine what you are going through.

ME: I really, really appreciate your understanding. It means a lot to me. Most people just don’t get it and tell me to “relax”.

MS. MENTOR: Oh, I used to get the same thing. People would tell me to “be happy with the one you already have.” It used to hurt me so badly.

ME: Well, I belong to a support group that helps me to vent and talk to people who’ve been there so I’ve found that to be quite helpful.

MS. MENTOR: That is wonderful. I know some people like to talk about it and some people are more private. You handle this however you feel comfortable.

ME: Again, thank you so much.

MS. MENTOR: You’re welcome. I know you’re a good egg…wait, did I just say that?!

ME: Yes, and that was quite funny.

[laughs, hugs and goes back to daily grind]

Did I mention how much I love this job?

*Footnote: My boss is not like a "boss" at all. I mean, sure she signs my paycheck and assigns me tasks but I consider her more like a mentor. We have so much in common that I feel as though I follow in her footsteps in more than one aspect of my life. Here is the evidence:
  • She and I both graduated from Towson University. Granted in different years but we still had the same alma mater, including the same field of study.

  • She and I both worked at my last agency, although at different times. She left about a year before I came on board. Coincidentally, we now both work together.

  • She confided to me once that when she accepted the position she has now, she found out the same day that she was pregnant and had to tell the President of the company. Funny enough, I had only been here for two weeks before I found out I was pregnant. I never got the chance to break the news but I still found this to be a strange coincidence.

  • Now, I find out that she has also had infertility troubles. She has overcome them, thankfully, so maybe I can follow suit here as well...?


Jen said...

Hello! I found your blog through a comment you left for me a few days ago. (thanks for that, by the way)

I am so sorry for your loss. It really helps to have people around who understand the struggle you're facing, and not everyone is lucky enough to have that.

Keep your head up! I really hope you get your sticky bean. And of course, you can contact me anytime for some IF venting!

Natalie said...

That's so great that she understands what you're going through! And that you can take time off if you need it without having to make up excuses or be worried about reprimands. That is just so great.