Domestication

My, how I love my days off. The weather has just been amazing the past few days - in the 70's and 80's, which is uncharacteristic of April. Yesterday was my first day off so I spent my day running errands. I went to Public Storage to grab some moving boxes (expensive!), went to a new cafe for lunch, picked up my prescriptions, and did some grocery shopping. I got a glimpse of what life would be like if I were a SAHM. Minus the baby of course, but I'm working on that. I loved how there was barely any traffic on the roads and I felt free to go wherever I wanted. The world was just one big oyster and I could choose which sea I wanted to travel. I could just imagine a baby in the backseat as we would drive about the town. I really hope that when I get pregnant, I will have the opportunity to stay home for the first 4-5 years until school begins. Or at least find a job that will allow me to work from home. I want the chance to go on mini-adventures with my baby and share the precious little moments that make parenthood so rewarding.

I've never really been a domestic woman per se, but I could definitely take on that role if I needed to. I don't believe it is something you are born with. Although some people are inherently neat and organized, I think that domestication is something you can also learn over time. I have a tendency to be a bit of a slob sometimes but I think that once I have a baby, I will be more tidy because I HAVE to be. I won't be able to just leave things on the floor or on the table that a baby could pick up and hurt him/herself with. I will learn to cook healthier because I will need to feed my baby something nutritious - not the crap that I feed myself half the time. Because I will want a better environment for my baby, I will do whatever necessary to ensure our house is spotless and baby-proof.

I had the same problem with motivating myself to work out. It was so hard to do it at home because I would get pre-occupied and decide I can "do it later". It wasn't until I joined a gym and had to pay a monthly membership fee that I HAD to use it or lose it. I think that until I get pregnant, I will just find excuses as to why I can hoard clutter. Part of it is living in an apartment and not having much space (the new place should fix that somewhat). But really, it is our attitude that it can just wait until "later". I will definitely need an attitude adjustment when I get that BFP. That stick can be my motivation to be a better housewife/future mommy.

I also wanted to note that I happened to tune into A Baby Story on TLC yesterday. BIG MISTAKE. I cried my eyes out when I saw a couple give birth to triplets from IVF. I was just overcome with emotion. I'm not sure if it was sadness because I feel like it will never be me, or if it was happiness for these miracle babies. I just know that if anyone had seen me, they would have tried to commit me right then and there.

I began my second round of Clomid last night and started taking my prenatals again. My friend Hope is visiting me after a short absence. Speaking of Hope, my dear friend Sticky Bun has a great post about her and her relationship to Pandora's Box. It is amazing how resilient we can be despite all the obstacles that we must overcome. Check it out.

I must be going now to work on that domestication. I have to sort through clothes today and decide which lucky pieces I will take taking with me on the move and which unlucky ones will be going to live with Mr. Goodwill. In other words, spring cleaning. Fun times!