Friday, November 10, 2006

Past the Halfway Point

I'm now past the halfway point - at 8 dpo. Overall, I'm feeling better today than in days past, with less symptoms to note. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. My temps have increased everyday since 5 dpo, with a huge spike this morning of 0.4 degrees. I'm hoping it stays up so I can get my first triphasic message and maybe, just maybe, a BFP! My, how perfect it would be to share the news with family just in time for Thanksgiving...

I had the most awkward dream last night. I had a dream that DH and I were in the backseat of a car. My mom was the passenger and I'm not sure who was driving. It wasn't clear in the dream where we were going or what we were doing but it was quite serene. Anywho, I am very pregnant in this dream - about full term. All of a sudden, the baby starts kicking so hard, you can see his or her footprint through my stomach. It is stretching out my abdomen so far, it looks like something out of a horror film. My mom turns around to tell me that something is wrong and that this isn't normal. We make a beeline for the hospital and the doctor examines me and tells me I've lost the baby. Before I had a chance to react, I was awake.

Talk about a nightmare! I am guessing that my supressed fears are revealing themselves through my subconscience. Because of my past miscarriage, I am desperately afraid of losing another baby. Especially with the holidays being right around the corner. I hope I get a BFP but I know I'll be an even bigger mess when that happens. On the other hand, I can never underestimate the power of prayer.

My doctor called me today with the results from my blood re-test and my albumin levels, as suspected, are just fine. This was great news, but then again, what is causing my extreme fatigue?! More answers just seem to lead to more questions.

Tonight, DH and I have a viewing to attend. My aunt's mother (aunt by marriage) passed away yesterday and we felt we should pay our respects. I really dislike funerals - the smell, the mood. It just makes me want to run away. The bright side is that the weekend is upon us and I can finally relax, unlike last week. Send me lots of implantation thoughts!

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