30 Days

*For the sensitive: pregnancy mentioned*

We're on the official countdown now - 30 days and some odd hours to go. On one hand, the thought of meeting my son in just a month is so exciting that I can hardly wrap my brain around it. I imagined getting this far along as a SIG (sad infertile girl) but never really believed it would happen. I guess I was too scared to think it was more than a fantasy. Yet I now have a little guy who loves to wake me up with his rolls every morning - not the freshly baked ones but I'll prefer these any day of the week. On the other hand, as the days tick by, I am threatened by the real possibility that he could arrive at anytime and I am not yet completely prepared. We have 99% of the necessities but as a first time mom-to-be, I just want everything to be perfect. I really need to let go of this newfound Type A-ness that has been dominant lately. Repeat to self - we will get there eventually. It. will. be. okay.

I had my third and final baby shower yesterday. Don't worry - pics will be coming as soon as my mom figures out how to utilize technology. We are now on our own as far as baby supplies goes. Our family and friends have been so generous that we only have several "larger" purchases to make prior to Sunshine's arrival - breastpump, nightstand, swing, etc. I can't believe how lucky our little guy is. I look around his nursery at the overflowing bags of goodies and the beautiful furniture and am in awe of how much he is loved and he is not even here yet.

Speaking of breastpumps: if you are in the market for one, please visit this site. I have their price list and they have the best prices out there that I've seen. Plus free shipping and no tax (unless you live in NJ). You can email me for the list and I will forward it to you if you are interested.
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Week 35 has been one of change. Up to this point, I have had it relatively easy. Feeling great. No complaints, really. That is beginning to shift now that I am entering my 9th month. The uncomfortableness is setting in. No, I'm not intending to whine. I'm just noticing how my body is changing and how I have to adapt and manage these new, not-so-fun p-word side effects.

First, the swelling has set in. Several weeks ago, I had to take off my wedding rings. They were starting to get a tad tight and I didn't want to risk getting them stuck or having to get them cut off. So, I voluntarily removed them, vowing to put them on again as soon as I was able. I've disliked walking around without them. I feel naked. Not to mention that I feel self-conscious, as if I'm a single mom. But it is a necessary evil in these final weeks.

On July 4th, we went out on a friend's boat for a short cruise. Unfortunately, the weather didn't cooperate. And neither did my feet. At the end of the ride, my toes looked like little Vienna sausages. I could hardly move them. It was not a pretty sight. I kept them as elevated as much as possible and pumped so much water into my body that I thought my stomach might explode. That seemed to do the trick so I chalked it up to too many salty appetizers.

Sleep is pretty much nonexistent at this point. I wake up every two hours to a pulsating bladder. A bladder that when emptied, is quite disappointing with regard to quantity. How can it feel like I have a gallon of urine to get rid of and yet only a few trickles actually exit? I get wicked heartburn regardless of when I last ate, so the Tums raid has become a nightly ritual. Also, the hip/nerve pain has gradually become excruciating. Laying on my back is a no-no but laying on my side gives me sciatica. So, I'm forced to pretty much sleep in an upright position. My cumulative sleep is probably about 3-4 hours on a "good" night. I don't know how I get my job done as a walking zombie but I somehow find a way. I consider this good practice for when we're in the company of a newborn. But you better believe I'm waiting anxiously for maternity leave to begin.

All of these signs are a blessing in disguise. While I may think of it as misery sometimes, I know deep down inside that it all means I am getting closer to that ultimate moment. Mother Nature can dish out as much of it as she wants if it means I'll be holding my baby boy one month from now.