Beware of the Bipolar Preggo

*P-word and baby items below*

I truly believe I've become bipolar in these last 5 (almost 6 - holy crap!) months. I have my good days and bad days. On my good days, I'm ecstatic, comfortable and easy-going. I can look down and enjoy my ever burgeoning belly and stare at the few baby clothes and toys we have scattered in our spare bedroom (which shall one day become a nursery, God willing). On my bad days, I'm discombobulated, insecure and borderline depressed. I can't think straight and fear overrides my joy. Obviously, with the headbutting incident one week ago, I had a string of bad days. Waiting for inevitable doom to strike. But now, I am feeling much more positive. I'm getting back some of my happiness. And while I know anything can still happen, I am looking on the bright side.

It helped to have another reassuring OB appointment on Friday. Heartbeat on our little boy was nice and strong - still in the 150's (eat that, old wives tales!). He even threw in two great big kicks to the doppler for fun. She told me not to worry about what happened last week, but to call from here on out if I should happen to fall, get into a fender bender, etc. My next routine appointment is on May 2nd and I'll be 26 weeks. 2 weeks after that, on May 15th, I'll have my glucose test. It all seems to be happening so fast. And yet I still can't wait to see his little face. To smell him and touch him. Hear him cry and laugh. See him smile. Watch him as his personality develops. I love the bond I share with him through pregnancy. He kicks me and only I can feel it. As selfish as that sounds, I do love having him "all to myself" right now. But, I think I will enjoy the reality of motherhood much more than pregnancy. Right now, the fear of the unknown leaves me breathless. If only I had a little window into my uterus. Maybe somewhere in my bellybutton. Then, I could probably enjoy this experience to the fullest. I really am trying to let go and live "fertile"-style. But I'm not sure if I'll ever reach that goal.

P.S. I forgot to ask my OB about the premature mooing. I have leaked even more in the past two days and I am positive it is colostrum. My right boob gets a little sore and tingly and when I take a peek, it's already beading at the surface. And it dries yellow onto my bra. I'm hoping this means my supply will be great upon his arrival. For certain, it means breast pads are in my very near future.

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With that being said, I'm feeling up to talking about our registry. Just saying it out loud blows my mind.

R&R had a great post about developing her registry. It truly is an overwhelming experience that I could relate to. Who knew that bottle nipples come in 4 or more styles? Level I for slow flow, Level II for medium flow, Level III for fast flow and Y-cut for thicker fluids. I seem to learn a new nugget of knowledge from BTDT moms everyday. Make sure the bottles are BPA-free. Pampers diapers but Huggies wipes. Medela Pump in Style pump is the only choice for working moms. I have over 100 items on my registries at both BRU and Target. It's enough to make anyone's head spin. Sure, some of these are "wants" and not "needs" but I don't know how I'd dwindle it down to any less than 75. The emotional appeal of advertising has something to do with this, I'm sure. And I should know since I work in advertising. I feel like I need everything. And I want it because I want my son to have everything. I want to give him everything.

Without further ado, here are a few of our selections:

We've decided on a sailboat theme for his nursery. Walls will be light blue and the furniture will be white, rather than cherry. For wall decor, I am going to buy a life ring and an oar to hang. I'll either paint or use boat stickers on the life ring to spell out his name, rather than using hanging letters.

Here is the travel system we chose. It's the Graco Quattro in Deco. We loved the pattern (the parts with dots almost feel like felt) but we also liked that you can use the carseat for up to 30 lbs.

I chose the Sassy MAM bottles from Amazon. They are BPA-free and are kinda cute and funky. The nipples are supposed to mimic breastfeeding and the design is anti-colic a la Dr. Brown's. We also have Medela bottles on our registry in case he prefers a standard bottle to a wide-neck (and I can pump directly into the Medela ones so there is a convenience factor) but I figure it can't hurt to have options.

I had a really difficult time finding a diaper bag I liked. It was either too cheap and corny or too expensive and ornate. I couldn't justify spending $300 on a diaper bag so I was delighted when I found this one from Skip Hop for $54. It is colorful and practical, in price and style. And I think the colors go well with our travel system.

Well, I think I've jibber-jabbered on for long enough. I hope you enjoyed the tour. They'll be more to share soon.