Thursday, May 10, 2007

Disagreeable GI & The Mother's Day Quandary

*WARNING: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK*

I think I have the most disagreeable bowels ever. I've suffered from IBS with constipation since I was a child but this is ridiculous. It's been a good 4 days since my last bowel movement and even that was hardly satisfying. I haven't changed my eating habits drastically and in fact, I've been trying to eat more healthily. I'm thinking of investing in some prune juice. Yeah, it's that bad. Or maybe I should just eat something really greasy so it will make them more "slippery". Okay, I'm done. I'll spare you from anymore of that nitty gritty.

*YOU ARE NOW SAFE TO PROCEED... *

I am almost through the first week of the 2ww. This one has been particularly agitating and exciting for several reasons. (1) It is the first real 2ww I've had in months. In January, we missed our key BD days for the S/A. In February, we had to avoid for the MMR shot. And March, well, that was a disasterous anovulatory cycle. So, it is exciting to actually have a chance. (2) The flipside to this is I now grant myself permission to dream up symptoms. Constipation, check. Increased appetite, check. Gassy, check. Mild cramps, check. Runny nose, check. Itchy throat, check. Any of these could be due to Clomid, HCG, gas, a cold or just normal body functions. However, my anxiety will get the best of me and persuade me into believing it is an EPS. (3) With Mother's Day being Sunday, I would LOVE to test. That little stick is calling my name and just screaming to be peed on (and no, this is not an R. Kelly video). I will only be 9dpo, which is quite the quandry. Is 9dpo too early considering it will only have been 11 days since my HCG trigger? Or, would the trigger be out of my system by then? I'll be okay with a BFN since I will know deep down inside it is a long shot. But Mother's Day seems too meaningful to pass up. I feel like I just HAVE to try. Even my mother is pressuring me to POAS, saying it would be the "greatest Mother's Day present ever". She ain't lyin'.

I get my 7dpo b/w done tomorrow so maybe that will give me a clue as to what my chances are. If my numbers are high and I had a strong O, I think I will feel more confident about POAS. If I happen to get a BFP on Sunday, I will just keep testing (11dpo and 13dpo) to make sure the line is getting darker and call my RE for a beta to be sure. However, I'm scared to even talk about it. I am hopeful, but probably a little bit TOO hopeful. What if I fail just as I have every other cycle? I guess I'll just have to prepare for the worst. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

If this cycle is a bust, I don't know what I'm going to do. I'd hate to go on a break after finally having a good response to the meds but with a new job and a new apartment to tend to, maybe a few months off from TTC wouldn't be such a bad idea. I guess I'll have to wait and see how I feel after testing. I still have a good week left until then.

4 comments:

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Jen said...

Oh my God! I had to laugh out loud at the R.Kelly mention. My college roommate loved (and still does) R.Kelly so the peeing on the stick.... Hilarious. And then, of course, I think Dave Chappelle's version!

I wish you lots of luck whenever you do decide to POAS. Let's hope this mother's day is all about you!

Baby Blankenship said...

I am praying for you honey...and I say test away on Mother's Day...you never know what will be there. You know I got a BFN on 11DPO, and I was bummed and figured it would be another cycle down the drain, but ended up getting the BFP on 14DPO. Everyone is different so it could very well be there...or it just might be too early. Wish I was there to cheer you on!!! Sorry about your IBS...I know it sucks and is very painful from my sis. Hang in there girl, and she swears by grease when she is in a bind...pardon the pun!!!

Love you!!!

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