Monday, October 30, 2006

Mojo, Where Are You?

Geez, it seems like the weekend just got here and now the work week has begun yet again. I'm not sure what is better anymore: to have a fun-filled weekend away or to relax at home and do almost nothing. On one hand, the productive weekend sucks up all your time and energy because you are so busy. On the other hand, the weekend at home makes you feel lazy and just as tired as the weekend away. Even setting the clocks back an hour yesterday couldn't help me. I'm torn between the two options, but I think we need both every now and then.

I'm currently at CD 14 with no approaching signs of O. My CM is still sticky to creamy, so I'm just anxiously waiting as usual. DH and I finally started to BD so I'm happy the dry spell is over! He is feeling better than last week but is still having his coughing spells. I don't know why but my sex drive has definately diminshed from last month. I feel like I've lost my mojo!!!! I think it may be that I'm scared it will hurt because of the cyst I had before. But, I don't know why that would just now become an issue since that was months ago. They say that you get an increased sex drive as your CM gets wetter and you get closer to O. Whatever the case, I hope it gets returned to me ASAP because I usually enjoy sex to the fullest. This has got to go!

Tomorrow is my doctor's appointment to have my thyroid levels checked. Part of me is hoping everything comes back normal and part of me sorta hopes there is a problem. I know that sounds crazy but if there is a problem, then it is an easy explanation (and an easy fix) for our fertility problems. Otherwise, it means we have to go in for an SA (semen analysis) or possibly HSG to see if my tubes are clear. The thought of going there just scares me because then I'd truly have to face the fact that we are "reproductively challenged".

I'm trying not to stress too much over it, but it happens. I have to repeat my mantra: que sera sera - what will be shall be.

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