Written In The Stars

First of all, thank you all so so much for the lovely blogoversary wishes. I feel so loved. I am humbled by all of your support. Group hug.

I'm sorry to have kept you all in suspense. DH didn't get laid off yesterday! WOOT! We were quite pleasantly surprised. Those damn executives really need to watch what they say to people. They scared the living shit out of us. Maybe they wanted to see if he'd buckle under pressure? Ha, very funny. I guess the joke was on us.

So, today, we spent the day celebrating our financial freedom at the Maryland Renaissance Festival. It was a beautiful day and it was a pretty fun time. I had my tarot cards read for the first time. That was pretty interesting. Let me begin by saying that I don't really put much stock into "reading the stars and analyzing the powers and spirits surrounding me" crap. I just paid the $18 for pure entertainment value - and a bit of curiosity.

He started by asking what area(s) of my life I wanted answers to. I told him fertility and marriage. I cut the cards and he drew them one by one and laid them in front of me. He said that now is not the right time for me to have children. I need to focus on my marriage and build the two of us before we bring a baby into our union. He said I must control my impatient ways and that I have a tendency of wanting things immediately - but basically, this won't turn out that way. He did say he saw success in the end, less than 5 years from now. And that God is leading me in the direction he wants me to go. I believe he told me I must clear my mind several times throughout the reading.

I left the place laughing but inside, I can't say I didn't feel a twinge of resentment. I didn't really expect him to say "you're going to get pregnant tomorrow and life will be perfect". But I was eager to hear something positive. I felt like this was the same bullshit that gets pawned on me all the time. Relax, it will happen. God will give you a baby when it is time. You're young and have plenty of time. No mention of my losses or the struggle I've already endured in the past 2 years. Just that I am trying too hard. That will be the LAST time I get a tarot card reading. At least until I am pregnant or a mother. Until then, I fail to see the fun in this.

While I'm at it, I have another confession. Back in November last year, out of desperation, I emailed a TTC prediction to Cheri22. Please don't laugh. For those who don't know, Cheri is a psychic with a 90% accuracy rate for predicting due dates, conception dates and/or gender of your unborn child. She emailed me back recently and she told me she saw OCTOBER and BOY in my future. Now, October could be the due date, conception date, or date we get a positive test. Since next week begins the month of October, I am secretly hoping her sighting is true. Call me crazy - I really do think I am. But this honestly gives me a tiny glimmer of hope. Perhaps it is written in the stars that I will have a son as soon as next month. Yes, I know it is a long shot and I said I don't believe in it (I really don't) but it can't hurt to hope, right?