Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Just Call Me Tipsy


The HSG went pretty well today. I waited for about 35 minutes in my backless robe before being called back. I signed the consent form and climbed onto the huge metal table - pretty cold on my bare tushy - and assumed the position. The speculum and cathether felt just like a pap. We had to wait for the radiologist to come in and take the pictures so I just laid there for a few minutes, flat, with this catheter hanging out of my hoo-hah. Lovely. Luckily, once the doctor arrived it went quickly. The cramping was moderate to severe for a few minutes when she inserted the dye but I was able to breathe through it. The rest of the procedure was a breeze.

Those "no polyp" vibes must have rubbed off because no fibroids or polyps were visible. The dye spilled into both tubes without hesitation. However, she mentioned my uterus was "pretty tilted" but she couldn't say whether it was anteverted or retroverted. Just call me Tipsy. Tipsy with the Tilted Uterus.

Dr. Google says it's not really an issue unless it is endo causing the change in position. And since I don't really have any symptoms of endo, I have no reason to suspect this is a problem.

Right now, I'm spotting a little and it just feels like I have syrup dripping between my legs. Uncomfortable but doable. DH still insists on waiting on me hand and foot tonight. So, who am I to resist? The RE said not to BD for 48 hours to lower the risk of infection. But come this weekend, we will officially be back to TTC. I look down at my bracelets and I feel ready. It is a bit scary to be honest. To be back here. Back to trying to catch the egg and back to POAS. But I am ready to try again.

I went in yesterday to have my APS bloodwork done. I won't get the results of that until next week, which sucks. I hate the waiting game. Am I crazy for actually hoping something comes back abnormal? I just want an answer. I want some justification for the loss of my angels. I know that a diagnosis of APS means I would have to go on blood thinners and give myself daily injections. But I don't care. I would do it if it meant I could have a healthy, happy baby at the end. DH thinks I'm absolutely nuts for wishing something was wrong with me. But I just can't stand having our losses remain "unexplained". I want an "a-ha" moment. A "eureka!" moment. Something I can point my finger to and place the blame on so I can close that chapter in my life and begin writing the next.
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Please go over and support my sweet friend, Baby Blues. She just found out her long-awaited pregnancy is a blighted ovum at 8.5 weeks and could use some shoulders to lean on.

I am so so sorry. I wish there were more words to express how I feel. I can only let you know I'm here for you and I'm sending lots of love your way. XOXO

12 comments:

Amy R said...

I'm glad your HSG is done and over with. Now you can move on from that. I was so relieved when mine was done. And I don't think you are crazy for wanting a cause found for your losses, especially if its something that can be fixable. Will you be doing any other types of immune testing?

Natalie said...

I'm glad it wasn't too painful. Bare metal table? Yeouch!

Caro said...

Totally understand your desire for a reason. It's something that is probably fixable or at least dealable with.

lub said...

Glad the procedure was relatively easy. Take advantange of DH and his sweet offer to wait on you! I hope you find the answers you need.

SaraS-P said...

Well, that's one thing out of the way. Hooray for no polyps! Good luck with the return to TTC!

Chris said...

I'm glad your hsg went well. It is always such a relief once it is over. As a fellow "undetermined" I so get your desire for a firm diagnosis All of the unanswered questions are just so hard, and it seems like it would be so much easier if there was just a simple reason to blame it on. I even bugged my doc into running a thyroid panel last week just to double check things before IVF. I haven't heard anything, so I'm assuming all is well. Good luck this weekend, and have fun!

dmarie said...

Great news on the HSG! What a sweet hubby to want to take care of you :)

megan said...

glad to hear your HSG is over with. it's definitely not a plesant experience. i hope you get some answers.

Erin said...

Glad the HSG is done and went well! It sounds like it wasn't too bad and it's great that everything looked good. I think we sometimes get more hopeful when they find something wrong because hey, then there's something to fix. At least it's a new route to pursue. Hopefully you'll get some answers from the test!

Grad3 said...

Well, it's over and it sounds like a good thing :) Sometimes I think that they put a bag of ice on those tables before you get on them.

I think that only in the IF and RPL world do we ever think, "Man, I hope they find something!"

GL!!

Road Blocks and Rollercoasters said...

Congrats on your successful HSG! That's always a relief. I know when I had mine it was so much more painful than I thought it would be. Answers are definitely good to have, though sometimes they can drive you even more crazy (like mine did). But I do hope that you find your reason for IF and that this time around with TTC you get the beautiful blessing you so deserve! :)

GL!

Geohde said...

I'm glad to hear that the HSG was not too dramatic. I have had the good fortune not to need one.

Good luck with the rest of the cycle.